It Was Never About Protecting Your Family, You Just Like Guns

Gabrielle Blair
5 min readOct 9, 2020

When I hear men talking about guns and how there’s nothing that will stop them from defending their family, my mind goes to the story of Naaman in the Bible. Do you remember Naaman?

He was a great military leader and he also had leprosy. The prophet Elisha told him to bathe in the Jordan River seven times and he would be cured. Naaman refused. In fact he was quite angry that the suggested cure was so simple. So his servants said: “My father, if the prophet had told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more, then, when he tells you, ‘Wash and be cleansed’!”

That’s like men bragging about how they’re ready and willing to protect their family. They’re picturing doing some great thing, but protecting your family is almost always much more mundane. A few conversations with God to illustrate:

Conversation #1

Man: Hey God, I just want you to know I am committed to protecting my family at all costs.

God: Gosh, that’s great to hear. One of the main things I need you to do to protect your family is laundry. Tons of laundry.

You know kids — they’re so susceptible to infections and viruses. Pinworms, athlete’s foot, lice, strep throat, colds and flues. Pneumonia and diarrhea are serious killers of children under five. The list is endless. So you’re going to need to do laundry basically daily. Their socks and underwear, their sheets, and put their sneakers through the wash too. I can’t emphasize this enough: protecting your family involves a lot of laundry.

Man: Oh. Um. I was thinking more along the lines of a masked intruder with a gun, at 2:00 AM, raping my family.

God: First of all, stop fantasizing about your family being raped. Second, do you know the stats on break-ins? The vast majority (72.4%) happen when no one is home, and only a small percentage are armed. Just 7% of home burglaries involve violence, and of those violent burglaries, only 12% of the burglars had a firearm. The likelihood of a break-in drops even more if you have a dog or a home alarm system.

Even if you do end up being the rare house with an armed break-in when you’re home, do you really want to shoot a teenager for stealing…

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Gabrielle Blair

Founder of #AltSummit. Creator of DesignMom.com. NYT Bestseller. Designer and mom of 6 — Ralph, Maude, Olive, Oscar, Betty, & June. Based in the U.S. & France.